How to Know Yourself Deeply- By Nehaa Singla
“You can’t build a life that feels like yours if you don’t even know who you are.”
This is for every seeker out there who’s sat in silence and wondered — “Why am I so confused all the time?” or “Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?” or my favorite — “I’ve done all the healing, but I still feel lost.”
Trust me, I’ve been there.
And so have hundreds of my clients.
Knowing yourself isn’t just a self-help idea — it’s a soul survival skill. And in today’s noisy, comparison-fed, hustle-loving world, it’s become even more essential.
Let’s decode what “knowing yourself” really means — and how you can start doing it today, in simple, soul-aligned ways.
Why We Struggle to “Know Ourselves”
Most of us are living as per a script someone else wrote:
- What to study
- What to wear
- Whom to love
- What dreams are “practical”
And in that pursuit to please parents, bosses, lovers, or even society — somewhere, you stopped listening to YOU.
We become:
- Emotionally exhausted
- Confused about what we truly want
- Stuck in loops (same jobs, same breakups, same burnout)
- Internally empty, even if everything “looks” perfect outside
Symptoms you don’t know yourself:
- You feel unfulfilled no matter what you achieve.
- You’re afraid to be alone — because you don’t know who you are without others.
- You say “I’m fine” when you’re emotionally drowning.
- You overthink every decision — big or small.
- You attract the same type of toxic patterns in relationships or work. “If you don’t go within, you’ll go without.”
7 Soul Keys to Really Know Yourself
Let’s break this down into 7 real-world, real-spiritual dimensions — so that you don’t just read this, you live it.
1. Know Your Dominant Feelings & Wounds
Let’s get real — emotions are not random.
They’re your soul’s GPS.
When I work with clients in their Akashic Records, we always begin with this:
“What’s your most recurring emotion?”
Guilt? Rejection? Abandonment? Shame?
These aren’t just feelings — they’re clues. Your unhealed inner child is trying to get your attention.
I had a client, Divya, a high-performing consultant — always busy, always productive. But she would break down every Sunday night. Why? Because that’s when silence made her feel the loneliness she was avoiding all week.
Avoiding your emotions doesn’t make them go away. They just become your personality.
💡Quick Exercise:
- Ask: What’s the emotion I feel most often?
- Then ask: When did I first feel this in childhood?
This one question has cracked open karmic loops for so many of my clients.
2. Know Your Needs (Without Guilt)
Most spiritual seekers know how to give.
But do you know how to receive?
Especially women — we’re taught to be the emotional shock absorbers of our families.
“You need something? I’m here.”
“I want something? Let me suppress it first.”
And so begins the pattern of over-giving, burnout, and resentment.
Knowing your needs isn’t selfish.
It’s spiritual hygiene.
🧘🏽♀️ Say this with me:
“Meeting my needs is not a luxury. It’s a responsibility to my soul.”
In my sessions, I ask clients to list 3 basic things that recharge them.
You’d be surprised how many people say, “I don’t know what recharges me.”
That’s not okay. Start small:
- What food nourishes me?
- What time of day feels most peaceful?
- Which person drains me?
Because until you know what nurtures you, the world will keep telling you to survive on crumbs.
3. Know Your Wholeness (Shadow + Light)
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We’ve all been sold this toxic positivity idea — “Love yourself!”
But real self-love isn’t just hugging the good parts.
It’s looking at the mess and saying — “You’re mine, too.”
I had a phase where I hated how “controlling” I was in relationships. I judged it, I tried to fix it — until one day my mentor said:
“Neha, what if that control came from a place of safety? From a younger version of you who just didn’t want chaos again?”
Boom. Instant shift.
It wasn’t bad. It was just unhealed.
✨ Aha Moment:
You can’t hate yourself into healing. You can only love your way into wholeness.
Write down:
- 5 things I like about myself.
- 5 things I struggle with.
Now bless them. Genuinely.
Even that jealousy. That insecurity. That procrastination.
Because every part of you is a fragment of your survival.
4. Know Your Boundaries (And Hold Them)
You can’t know yourself if you’re constantly dissolving into other people’s expectations.
If every yes is making your soul say no, you’re betraying yourself.
Let’s break the “good girl” myth —
Saying NO doesn’t make you rude.
It makes you rooted.
One of my clients was always tired, but couldn’t say no to work calls on weekends. When we dug deeper, her core belief was: “If I’m not always available, I’m not valuable.”
We worked on that belief.
We rewired her boundaries.
She started with baby steps: “Can we speak on Monday instead?”
A month later? Her manager respected her more. Not less.
💥 Truth Bomb:
People treat you how you treat your time and energy.
5. Know Your Intuition
Your inner voice is not a whisper.
It’s just been drowned out by noise — fear, logic, old trauma.
Knowing yourself means knowing what your intuition sounds like.
Here’s a simple way to tell:
- Fear voice: urgent, anxious, judgmental.
- Intuition voice: calm, clear, neutral.
When I had to leave my tech job and start Magical Healings, my fear said:
“Are you mad? Who will pay your bills?”
But my soul whispered:
“This is who you really are.”
That whisper turned into a calling.
That calling became a movement.
💫 Tip: Track what makes your body feel expanded. Follow that.
6. Know Your Dreams (Unedited Version)
What if your deepest desire isn’t random?
What if it’s your soul remembering what you came here to do?
Spiritual seekers often downplay dreams as “ego”. But hear me loud and clear —
Your soul has desires. Sacred ones.
I had a client, a homemaker for 15 years, who secretly wanted to be a spiritual coach. She thought it was “too late”.
I reminded her — Your dream has no expiry date. Only your permission.
Today? She leads women’s circles and Akashic sessions with power.
So, what would you do if nobody judged you?
- Travel solo?
- Write a book?
- Quit that job?
Make a dream list. And let it be unapologetic.
Even if it feels “unrealistic” right now.
Because dreaming is the first step to remembering who you are.
7. Know Your Values (Your Non-Negotiables)
This one’s subtle but powerful.
If you don’t know your values, you’ll keep following what looks good — not what feels aligned.
Values are your soul’s compass.
Mine?
- Freedom
- Truth
- Depth
- Love without control
So every decision I take — from a new client to a business collab — goes through this filter.
If something looks fancy but doesn’t feel aligned? It’s a no.
If something feels true but makes no “logical sense”? I’m in.
Write down your top 3 values.
Then audit your life.
Is your job, relationship, and lifestyle reflecting those values?
If not — it’s time to course-correct.
A Soft Reminder Before We Close…
You are not broken.
You are just buried under layers that were never yours.
Your healing is not a project. It’s a permission slip to finally meet yourself.
“Getting to know yourself is not a one-time project. It’s a daily devotion.”
A Little Ritual You Can Start With Today
Light a candle.
Place your hand on your heart.
Whisper to yourself:
✨ “I forgive myself for not knowing.
✨ I honor the one within me who wants more.
✨ I choose clarity over confusion.
✨ I now remember who I truly am.”
Repeat this anytime you feel lost.
Let it become your soul’s anchor.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If any part of this stirred something in you, I invite you for a 1:1 Soul Clarity Call with me.
We’ll access your Akashic Records, decode your soul blueprint, and answer the biggest question of your life —
“Who am I, really — and what am I here to do?”
Because you deserve to live a life that feels like you — not just looks right from the outside.
With love, fire and fierce compassion,
Neha Singla
Spiritual Coach | Intuitive Mentor | Akashic Guide
Helping Seekers Remember Who They Truly Are