Why Do I Expect So Much — and Feel Let Down?- Neha Singla
Have you ever gone into your birthday, a festival, a relationship, or even a regular day… secretly hoping it would be different this time? That someone would remember without being reminded? That someone would make you feel truly seen, special, or celebrated?
And then?
You found yourself back in the loop of disappointment. Again.
I see you. I hear you. I was you.
Today, I want to talk about the deeply human, deeply spiritual ache behind this question:
“Why do I expect so much — and feel so let down?”
The Inner Hope Nobody Talks About
Let’s be honest. Most of us pretend we don’t care. We say things like:
- “It’s just another day.”
- “I don’t like to make a big deal out of things.”
- “I don’t expect anything.”
But beneath that chill, detached surface lives a tender inner child. One who does want to be celebrated. Who does want to be surprised. Who secretly hopes someone would see through your silence and show up anyway.
Not because you demanded it. But because they just knew.
That hope? It’s sacred. And it hurts like hell when it goes unmet.
The Psychology of Disappointment
We’re wired for connection. And somewhere in our early years, we picked up the pattern that love = attention, gifts = value, surprises = proof that I matter.
So every time your birthday gets forgotten… Or your partner gets you a last-minute gift that screams “bare minimum”… Or your friend posts an Insta story for someone else but not you…
Your nervous system doesn’t just shrug it off. It says, “See? I knew I wasn’t enough.”
This isn’t just emotional. It’s biological. Your inner child remembers every time you felt:
- Left out.
- Overlooked.
- Like the “backup plan.”
So when something seemingly small happens, it hits a much older wound.
When Expectation is a Cry for Repair
Expectation isn’t bad. Let’s just get that out of the way.
Expectations are a form of inner guidance. They tell us what we crave. They reveal what feels incomplete.
But here’s the twist: When we over-expect, especially in silence, we set up an energetic trap.
Unspoken expectations often come from an unconscious belief:
“If I have to ask, it doesn’t count.”
Can we pause on that? How many times have you thought this?
- If I have to tell my partner to plan something, it loses meaning.
- If I have to remind my friend it’s my birthday, it’s not sincere.
This belief creates a mental contract:
“You should know what I want without me saying it.”
That’s not love. That’s a test.
From Spiritual View: Expectation = Unmet Karmic Needs
In the Akashic Records, I often see this pattern: People keep incarnating with the same unmet emotional need. Not because the Universe wants to punish them, but because their soul wants completion.
So if you always feel unseen on your birthday… If you’re the one who gives so much but receives so little…
Maybe it’s not because people are cruel. Maybe it’s because your soul is ready to break a generational or karmic loop.
But you can’t break a loop you’re not willing to see.
I Had a Client Once…
Let me share this. I had a beautiful client, let’s call her Tara.
She said to me during our Akashic Reading session:
“Neha, I feel pathetic. I cry every year on my birthday. I tell myself it doesn’t matter, but every year I expect magic, and every year I end up sobbing alone.”
When we opened her Records, what showed up was this: In multiple lifetimes, Tara had been the caregiver. The anchor. The healer. The one everyone leaned on. But she had never let herself receive.
Her soul wasn’t broken. It was tired. Tired of waiting for others to give her what she wouldn’t ask for.
So I asked her: “What if this birthday, you celebrated yourself without apology? What if you became the giver and the receiver?”
She booked a solo trip. She wrote a letter to herself. She bought herself a dress she’d been eyeing for months.
She told me: “It was the first time I didn’t cry on my birthday. I felt proud. I felt full.”
So… Is Expecting Bad?
No. Expecting in silence, resenting in secret, suppressing your needs… that is what causes pain.
Instead:
- Let your desires breathe.
- Communicate your needs with kindness, not fear.
- Celebrate yourself without guilt.
You don’t need to “lower expectations” to stop getting hurt. You need to realign them with your current truth.
Journal Prompts to Reflect
- What do I secretly hope will happen on my birthday/anniversary/special day?
- Where did I first learn that asking = being a burden?
- What kind of celebration feels nourishing to me, even if no one else joins?
- What am I really seeking? Love? Acknowledgment? Presence?
- Can I give that to myself first?
A Soul Whisper Before We Close
Sometimes, people don’t disappoint you because they don’t love you. They disappoint you because they love you in their template, not yours.
If you keep feeling unseen, unloved, or unimportant… It’s not time to give up. It’s time to get curious.
Ask:
- Is this a pattern?
- Is this a soul contract?
- Is this moment asking me to finally show up for myself?
Because maybe… just maybe… Your disappointment isn’t proof that people don’t care. Maybe it’s your soul saying: “It’s time to stop outsourcing your worth.”
With You, For You,
Neha Singla
Soul Journey Expert| Akashic Mentor | Mystic Poet
P.S. If this blog stirred something in you, maybe it’s time to talk. I’ve opened a few 1:1 Akashic Reading sessions this month. If your soul is whispering “I need clarity,” Click the Link below
Because your story deserves to be witnessed — fully. Even (and especially) by you.