A lot of couples feel but hardly talk about out loud: unhealthy parental behavior affecting your relationship.
If you’re reading this, there’s a high chance you’ve:
Felt torn between your parents and your partner.
Tiptoed around your spouse because of what your parents might say.
Or worse, silently questioned if it’s wrong to set boundaries with the people who raised you.
Let me be honest and say this loud:
I’ve had clients sobbing during their Akashic readings, not because of their partner’s actions—but because of the subtle, emotional tightrope they walk between parent and spouse.
So today, let’s unpack it all.
What Does Unhealthy Parental Behavior in Adult Relationships Look Like?
Not all toxic behaviors look like shouting or abuse. Some are quiet. Wrapped in love. Delivered with a side of guilt.
Here are the core signs to watch for:
1. Viewing Their Child's Spouse as Competition
Your parent might not say it directly. But you feel it.
Suddenly, they count how many minutes you spend with your partner. They mention how you “used to call more” or how “you’ve changed since marriage.”
This competition creates resentment—for both your spouse and you. And often, the partner starts pulling back, not out of dislike, but out of emotional exhaustion.
Client Story: I had a woman in her 30s who confessed she avoids hugging her husband around her mother. Imagine that! Love censored by obligation.
2. Demanding Constant Validation
“Did you miss me?” “Why didn’t you tell me you reached home safe?” “You always put them first now.”
These phrases aren’t just questions. They are loaded with emotional landmines.
When a parent needs to be prioritized above your partner, what they’re really saying is: “Choose me over your growth.”
3. Using Guilt as a Tool for Manipulation
Let’s call this out for what it is.
“We’re growing old alone.” “You’re never there when we need you.” “Your partner is taking you away from us.”
These emotional guilt traps push you into a corner. Where no matter what choice you make, someone is hurt. That confusion? It drains your energy, spirit, and sometimes… your marriage.
Psych Insight: Guilt is one of the oldest survival controls used in dysfunctional emotional patterns. It keeps people “obedient” at the cost of their authenticity.
4. Feeling Threatened by Your Need for Space
You’re not abandoning them. You’re just claiming space for your new family, your new rhythm, your adult self.
But suddenly, you’re called “arrogant” or “selfish” or accused of forgetting your roots.
Space isn’t separation. It’s sacred.
If your growth triggers their fear, it’s not your job to shrink. It’s their invitation to heal.
5. Reacting with Victimhood When Called Out
Ever tried to express something and ended up being the bad guy?
You say, “Mom, I need a little space,” and she cries. You say, “Dad, that comment was hurtful,” and he yells or goes silent.
This is not communication. This is deflection.
If calling out manipulation results in tears, drama, or stonewalling, it’s emotional armoring at play. It blocks growth. For everyone.
Why This Hurts More Than We Admit
Because it messes with your inner compass.
You start doubting:
Should I call them again?
Am I being too harsh?
Maybe my partner is too sensitive?
This constant second-guessing kills peace. And it kills intimacy—because your energy is split.
As an Akashic Reader, I always remind my clients:
Why Healing This Dynamic is CRUCIAL
Because left unhealed, this dynamic doesn’t just strain your marriage—it affects:
Your ability to trust your intuition.
Your parenting (yep, cycles repeat).
Your self-worth.
Many parents don’t even realize they’re operating from unhealed trauma or scarcity. They think they’re being “caring” or “loving,” when in reality, they’re reliving their abandonment wounds through you.
This blog isn’t to villainize parents.
It’s to name the dynamic so we can break it with awareness, not aggression.
As I always say:
“You can honor your parents AND have boundaries. You can love them AND grow beyond them.”
They did the best they could with what they had. But now you get to choose a different legacy.
So What Can You Do?
Acknowledge the Pattern (Without sugarcoating it)
Communicate Clearly (Don’t defend, just express)
Work With a Mentor or Healer (This is deep inner child work)
Protect Your Partner (Don’t let them feel like a guest in your shared life)
Forgive, But Don’t Enable (Love with wisdom)
If this stirred something inside you… you’re not alone.
Many spiritual seekers carry the burden of pleasing their parents while losing themselves in the process.
If this blog resonates deeply, it may be time to explore your soul contract with your family through the Akashic Records.
Find details about the 1:1 Akashic Reading Session below that dives into past-life ties, ancestral wounds, and how to reset your energetic boundaries.
Your soul came here to evolve, not to be emotionally indebted.
And guess what?
You can break the cycle.
Want More?
I also open limited Akashic Reading Sessions.
Once you book:
- You’ll fill a form about your challenges.
- We’ll do a Pre-Session to prepare your energy.
- Then the actual Reading.
- And a Post-Session to integrate it all.
This isn’t just a one-time thing. It’s a shift in your entire energetic trajectory.
With Love and Truth,
Neha Singla
Founder | Magical Healings | Akashic Educator I Akashic Reader I Author